Pitch and Loki's Facebook war
by PassionDoll
Summary: One day, When Pitch posts a status about Jack, Loki gets paraniod and starts to start a Facebook argument about it for a little while. couple days later, It starts to starts to get out of hand!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: LMFAO this was based on a fake Facebook convo I Made yesterday and put it on DeviantART and I Thought Hey! Why not make a story about it lol Also I Just watched the Avengers for the first time! It was AH-MAZ-ING! Lol I Might make Avengers fanfics in the future ;) Anyways, enjoy!**

After a long and exhausting week of giving out nightmares to people, He decided to take a short break…. On the internet that is. He sat on his bed in his room and pulled out his laptop and checked his Facebook; everyone on there was talking about random things on their statuses. Some he found funny, some he found understandable and some he found just plain stupid. He hasn't written a status in a while now so he decided, hey why not? Write a status about whatever?! He didn't know what to write about but then he knew what to write about to get off his chest, so he typed in,

_"UGH! He thinks he's all that in a bag of chips but he isn't" _

He was obviously talking about Jack Frost because he couldn't stand him, so he had to get that annoyance off his chest. With that, He clicked the post button and scrolled away on his news feed. Five minutes later, after he just liked a beautiful picture of Toothiana (Whom he knew Jack has a crush on) and was about to comment on it, he noticed he got a notification. He clicked on it and saw that it was his one of his enemies, Loki, Norse god, God of Mischief, commented on his status it said,

"_Look who's talking" _

Pitch angrily gritted his teeth at the comment; surely it was aimed at Frost and not at him. And why did he bother to waste his time commenting on his status that was not concerning him and knowing that Pitch despised his guts? Maybe he was trying to be an instigator or something? So he replied,

_"IT WAS ABOUT FROST! PARANOD IMBASCILE!" _

He typed in caps. Two minutes later he got a reply back from his enemy,

_"Your spelling is atrocious! Its 'Paranoid' and 'imbecile'! You illiterate Buffoon!"_

Pitch's fists balled up in irritation and anger, He WAS trying to start a fight with him! And he knew it too! He was the God of Mischief after all! "THAT'S IT!" Pitch yelled from the top of his lungs, making an echo yell back at him. "If he wants to fight! I'll give that arrogant excuse for a god a fight!" And so he fought back on the status and typed in,

_"ME? BUFFOON? LMFAO! I'm not the one who wants to be a grammar Nazi on everyone's status!" _

It was true! He seen it all the time that Loki always corrected someone on Facebook and it was unnecessary since it was FACEBOOK and Not SCHOOL! Who does he think he is? A freaking Harvard professor?! Because this wasn't college! Pitch waited until the Norse god could reply back until six minutes later, He got a reply but it wasn't from Loki, it was from Frost! "FROST?! What is he doing on my status when- oh wait! I Forgot!" Did Jack know that He was in the middle of a fight with Loki ? He probably obviously did because he must of saw the comments.

_"What did you say about me Pitch ?" _Jack commented. Pitch rose an eyebrow, puzzled. "Why the deuce did he not notice the comments ?" He asked himself, mystified. So sighed heavily and decided he wanted to see Loki's reply instead of his, so he replied back saying,

_"STAY OUT OF THIS OLD MAN FROST!" _

He typed in all caps to make him get off his status. Shortly in two minutes, Frost proceeded to reply back by saying,

_"At least I'm a good looking old man unlike you!" _

Pitch gasped, offended at the conceited and vain comment that Frost made on his status, "WHY THAT ARROGANT, CONCIETED, EGOTISTICAL, BIG-HEADED EXCUSE FOR A GUARDIAN!" He shouted to the screen. One minute later, He finally saw a response from Loki, FINALLY!

_"OOOOH BURN!" _He instigated.

Pitch growled, irritated at the both of them, He proceeded to Reply to Loki,

_"SHUT UP YOU HORRENDIOUS ABOMINATION OF A GOD! WHO ASKED YOU!?"_

_"YOU SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE YOU BESCUMER SIMPLETON!" _Loki Responded in all caps.

Pitch just stood for a moment and looked at the comment, "Bescumer Simpleton? What in the name god kind of insult was that? Another attempt to sound intelligent I see" Pitch burst out laughing and clapped his hands like a drunk seal at the failed comment that didn't make any sense to him. "What a poser! I'm not arguing anymore with this snobbish wannabe! Waste of time! I should be doing other things, like … I don't know, more scaring? Eh Why not?" Pitch shrugged and clicked the tab off, closing the laptop and putting it under his pillow and went out to do more scaring.

**Sorry this is so short! HAHA! Don't worry this is not the end of it, this is just the beginning! *chuckles evilly* Pitch and Loki are go at it again and this time it will be more arguing! Lol I Hope you all enjoy this chapter. Review and tell me what you think, okay ? :) Hopefully I'll update on Thursday or Friday! See you in chapter 2 Wonderful readers! :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: HAHA! Oh man I love writing this about my two favorite villains XD**

**Pitch: Just like you like writing stories about something extremely weird happening to me but writing nice things about Loki -_-**

**Me: Oh lighten Up and Stop being jealous! You know I Don't mean it! X3**

**Pitch: Oh really ? What about that story about Frost catching me playing with My little Pony dolls- OOPS! *flies hand over mouth* *looks over at Loki*'**

**Loki: HAHAHAHAHA! You ? Play with Pony dolls! THAT'S THE MOST HILARIOUS THING I'VE EVER SEEN!**

**Pitch: Oh shut up! It was a long time ago so DROP IT! *blushes hard* And ME ? JEALOUS OF HIM! HAHA! YEAH RIGHT!**

**Loki: So, Who's your favorite pony ? Pinkie Pie ?**

**Pitch: I Said Shut up!**

**Me: HOW ABOUT BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP!**

**Both: *silence***

**Me: Thank you ^_^ Sorry for that little interruption, Enjoy Lovely Readers!**

A few days after the little argument on the book, Loki sat on his throne, leaning on the arm of it. He just sat there and thought, "So hard being ruler of Asgard, and I'm so bored" Since no people came upon him today, He decided he was going to go on his Facebook. So he told the guards to close the gate and they did. He ran into his room and slammed the door shut. He sat on his computer and sign in.

"Hmmm Seems like everyone is doing good today" he said to himself. He was scrolling through his news feed, people posting whatever they want until he saw an argument on Jack Frost's status, he was arguing with Pitch. And Pitch ,hating Jack the way he did, was saying stuff like 'Frost, you are such a conceited little worm you know that ?' and other stuff like 'Frost, if i see you in person i will BEAT YOU UP TO A PULP! DO YOU UNDERSTAAAND ? And that's a threat AND a promise! I Am the nightmare king and i will give you endless nightmares!'

It was pissing Loki off that Pitch was behaving all macho and all that crap and for some reason, He thought that Pitch was just a wannabe Him, The god of mischief himself. Maybe it was because how much they were similar, how much people compared them sometimes.

"Who does that macho wannabe think he is ? I'll teach THAT BOOGERman some manners!" he aggressively spoke to himself.

Whatever, he didn't care, he was just tired of Pitch acting like everyone was afriad of him and he wanted to say something about it, so he wrote this as his status,

_"Some people just LOVE to act tough but in reality they are just a coward and a wannabe LMFAO!" _

After that, He added a winky face at the end of the sentence and He pushed the post button and it was sent out to the world to see.

Back at the lair, in Pitch's room, He just got finished arguing with Frost about God knows what. "HAHA! I Finally won that argument with Frost! What a thick headed, delusional, arrogant little runt!" Then he noticed the status that Loki posted. "Oh what is that Imbecile whining about now ?" He looked closer and read what it said and Boy! Did it piss him off! He gritted his teeth in anger, he couldn't believe what he just wrote about him!

"ME ? COWARD? AND WANNABE?! WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL IS HE TALKING ABOUT ?! I Don't want to be like him! What a conceited vain little- I'LL TEACH HIM TO ACT LIKE SUPERIOR OVERWHEEMING CHILD!" He yelled. He heatedly type down on the keys of his laptop and commented,

_"I Rather be like Frost than a Imbescile like you!" _

Yes! He just typed that in! Yes Frost was conceited! Yes! Frost was a trouble maker! But At least Frost didn't act like a grammar Nazi or acted like everyone wanted to be like him like how Loki is accusing Pitch of.

Back in the Norse God's room, He received a notification. He smiled thinking that someone commented on one of his photos. he clicked on the notification and saw that it said '**Pitch Black Commented on your status' **He smirked, thinking of what Pitch has to say on his status**. **Saw the comment and laughed at Pitch's misspellings. (Oh and Plus Loki got eleven likes on his status) "HAHA! This Boogerman's grammar is worse than Tony Starks'!" He cried tear of laughter and banged on the table. He got himself together and replied,

_"And you continue to insult me with your atrocious grammar! LOL" _

He pushed the post button and crossed his arms, smirking at what Pitch is going to say next, probably something stupid that has nothing to do with the status. He chuckled to himself thinking about the next comment will be, "HAHA! He'll probably say something nonsensical!" He threw his head back and laughed loudly.

Pitch saw this reply and smirked. "HAHAHAHA! Continuing to be a grammar Nazi I See" He said, chuckling. He looked in the mirror and stroked back his hair, Doing the same Pose that The Fonz (that guy from that old show, Happy Days) makes. He turned back to the computer and typed in,

_"At least I'm not atrocious looking like you!"_

Loki looked at the replied and you know what ? instead of getting mad, He laughed harder than he did before! he rolled on the floor laughing his butt off and puddles of tears were flooding around him, Yes! It was THAT ridiculous yet hysterically ludicrous! "Is he serious ?" He said, still chuckling. "Does he know how many girls out there who are willing to worship the ground I Walk on ? How many of them would DIE to be my queen ? HAHA! Foolish Boogerman!" He stopped ranting and typed in,

_"Me ? Atrocious looking ? LMFAOOO! X'D That's the most Untrue and most Hilarious thing about heard in my life! LOL! BITCH PLEASE! If that were true, how is it that I Have a large amount of girls drooling over me than they drool over you ?! SO HA!" _He proudly replied.

"OH HELL NO THAT BASTARD OF AN ATTENTION WHORE DIDN'T JUST CALL ME... A BITCH!" He yelled out loudly, He Infuriatedly walked out of the room, to the lair and to outside in the forest and Screamed so loud that he scared the birds in the trees. He quickly ran back inside and aggressively replied,

_"WHAT THE FLYING HELL DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!"_

Loki Laughed his freaking butt off that the people of Asgard could hear him burst of laughing. He wiped the tears from his eyes and Then he replied to him,

_"Are you really that Dance ? LMAOOOO X'DDDD" _Little did he know that he left an error in his comment, It was supposed to be Dense but he accidentally typed in Dance instead. Pitch noticed this "Wait! Did he just... MISSPELLED A WORD ?!" and laughed his butt off. "Oh What an idiot! I Love how he corrects someone's misspellings when he just misspelled a word himself! I Wonder how he must be feeling"

_"LOL! You DO know you misspelled Dense, right ? HAHA! Looks Mr. Harvard professor made a little error! LMFAO XD" _

Loki narrowed his ocean blue eyes and looked at his comment again and flew his hand over his mouth, blushing. He realized it was too late to change it now because everyone who was reading this status and reading the comments are seeing this and are probably making fun of him right now because he would always go around and act like everything he wrote in status's and comments were perfect with no misspellings, now all that changed!

Loki sighed and typed in irritably, _"Oh shut up!" _

Pitch laughed victoriously and replied, _"You know I'm right and YOU'RE WRONG! SO HA!"_

After that, Loki Decided to give up on this fight and made his final comment, _"HMPH!" _

Then Pitch lastly commented, "HAHA!" And added a winky face to it. Loki signed out and furiously walked back outside to his throne. "Stupid Boogerman!" He pouted.

Pitch closed the laptop and Laughed in victory of the argument and proudly said, YES! FINALLY I MADE THAT SIMPLE-MINDED IMBECILE LITERALLY LOOK LIKE AN IMBECILE! HAHA! Poor Loki... NOT!" He laughed out loudly as he was proud of his victory... for now.

**Me: HAHA! Poor Loki! XD I'm sure you'll win in the next chapter**

**Loki: Of course I Will! You'll make sure cuz you love me ;)**

**Me: *blushes* I know**

**Pitch: *growls in jealously* Ok enough with the mushy crap! So I Won but that still doesn't make up for that pony fanfic you wrote about me!**

**Me: Oh get over it Pitch! :3 Admit it! You love ponies! now repeat after me-**

**Pitch: How about no! :D**

**Me: *rolls eyes* ah screw it! Anyways, I Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Hopefully next weekend I will update when I get the chance. See ya lovely readers and *whispers* P.S. That Fanfic about Pitch playing with ponies is Real! It's called, Pitch's dark secret and there's a sequel called Pony lover and the final sequel is called The winter spirit who loves to dash! Go check em out now and-**

**Jack and Pitch: HEY! WE HEARD THAT!**

**Me: OOPS! Gotta go before they get me lol See you all later! **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: OMG! It's been so loooooong! Okay not so long but more like 6 months XD cuz I've been so so busy with school, which I just graduated from! :D *high five* HEY! You try making up LOADS of schoolwork for high school nonstop LOL It's not easy for me or anyone that is in high school lol**

**Pitch: *Cough*BULLSHIT!*Cough***

**Oh shut up Pitch! -_-**

**Pitch: MAKE ME! ;P**

***Rolls eyes* Pitch you can be so sooooo annoying sometimes! -.-**

**Pitch: I know but you love me anyway, Don't you ? I know you do ;)**

***blushes* Oh shut up Pitch! -_- Anyways, Sorry about that interruption! Enjoy this chapter guys! :D**

After another long week of spreading nightmares, Pitch decided to throw a big party at a gothic, dark mansion. So he got on Facebook and reminded everyone, including villains, that he was having a pointless but might be fun party.

_**PARTY AT BLACK ROSE MANSION! TONIGHT AT 7PM! EVERYBODY TURN RIGHT! **_

He typed in his status but Apparently, Since he was trying to be cool and sound hip. He meant to say the recent slang 'Turn up!' but he misunderstood it and accidentally wrote 'Turn Right!'. Since he was trying to fit in, He was trying to keep up with the hip words that's coming out now a days.

Jack Frost saw this status and he couldn't laugh his freaking butt off. "HAHAHAHAHAHA! Is this old man serious? Trying to be all cool and stuff!" He then commented on Pitch's status:

_**LOLOLOL! Turn right? Don't you mean, Turn Up? XD**_

Pitch saw his commented and grunt irritably, rolling his eyes at Frost's smart remark. "What does Old man Frost know about slang anyways?

_**TURN RIGHT! TURN UP! SAME THING OKAY FROST?! AND GET THE HELL OFF MY STATUS! YUCK! YOU'RE SPREADING YOUR SMELLY EXISTENCE ON MY STATUS!**_

Jack laughed again and shook his head at the boogeyman's ineffective insult and lack of knowing about slang. So he replied back,

_**No! It's NOT the same thing! if you're going to use slang, USE IT RIGHT! It's not my fault you're corny as heck! LMAO! **_

Loki was scrolling through his news feed; he had just liked a photo of Jane, Thor's girlfriend, in a bikini. He hoped that Thor won't find out about it and might possibly kill him but he doubted that would happen. Then He came across Pitch's status about a party at a mansion, He shook his head, chuckling at the boogeyman's attempt at trying to sound cool. He looked down at the comments and had to have a laugh at Jack and Pitch's argument about Pitch using the slang word all wrong. This is definitely chance to get in and instigate in something that doesn't involve him, causing mischief is his number one thing ever in the world.

_**LOL He can't even say slang right! XD **_He commented on the boogeyman's status.

He laughed and waited for the boogeyman's reply. Pitch saw this and got mad because this argument was between him and Frost; Not Him, Frost and Loki!

_**And that's why you're not invited! ^_^ **_Pitch replied.

Loki scoffed and said to himself, "Oh, Silly booger! Why does he think I give a damn about his amateur, wannabe cool party?! HA! He's delusional!"

_**And that's why you'll never be the man your mother was! :D **_Loki replied back while laughing.

Pitch slammed his fists on the wall, oh he was freaking pissed! "HOW DARE THAT- THAT IMMATURE, INSTIGATING TWIT SPEAK OF MY MOTHER LIKE THAT!"

_**WHAT?! WHAT?! WHY YOU IGNORANT IMMATURE DISGRACEFUL EXCUSE OF A GOD! HOW DARE YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT TO ME?! **_

The mischief god fell off his bed laughing at Pitch's enraged comment, he laughed so loud that the whole planet could hear him, he laughed so hard that tears fell down his cheeks. One of his guards opened to check on him to see if he was alright. "Are you alright?" one of them asked.

Loki stopped laughing but he giggled a little. He got up off the floor and wiped the tears from his face. "Oh, I am alright my loyal guards. NOW GET OUT!" He yelled and slammed the door in their faces. He looked on his laptop and saw there was two more replies which was Bunnymund and Jack's comments that said:

_**LMFAOOOOOOOOO 90 DEGREE BIRN! YOU JUST GOT SERVED MATE!**_

Then Jack's comment said,

_**LMAOOOOOOO I know right?**_

Loki then decided to pull a Britney Spears and commented,

_**OOPSIES! Looks like I did it again! XD**_

Pitch just came back from bathroom and looked on his computer and saw that That Jack and Bunnymund got involved. "OH! THAT STUPID RABBIT! Why doesn't he just mind his own business and go suck an egg! And that Stupid Loki! Who does he think he is!? "

_**STAY OUT OF THIS FROST AND RABBIT! And Did what Loki? Finally could fit that Cinderella dress you've been DYING to try on? ;) **_

Loki again scoffed.

_**Says the one who is wearing a dress but calls it a "robe" **_

Pitch yelled on the top his lungs and angrily typed in,

_**IT'S NOT A DAMN DRESS YOU STUPID MORON!**_

Loki laughed at his reaction and said, "Oh He is so in denial!"

_**Oh yeah! Keep telling yourself that, WOMAN! **_

Pitch looked in his mirror and made arrogant looks, acting like he was the most handsome man on earth. "HMPH! Woman! HA! I would be a sexy woman if I wanted to!"

_**At least I'm not the one who put makeup on you while you were sleep! And YES! I know that was you! Nobody, not even Frost would DARE to do something like that!**_

Loki smiled widely and laughed at that memory.

_**Awww Did I do that? LMFAO! Too bad I do not care! x3 **_

Pitch gritted his teeth in anger and pounded his fist on the computer table.

_**I KNEW IT! IT WAS YOU! YOU IDIOTIC, PILE OF DOG CRAP EXCUSE OF A GOD! HOW DARE YOU DO SUCH A CHILDISH IMMATURE THING TO ME!? I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED IF YOU FAILED PRESCHOOL, NO! DAYCARE! I'M GOING TO FIND YOU AND RIP YOU TO SHREDS!**_

To Loki, this insult was lame but Pitch's enraged comment again made him laugh again and again.

_**Oh careful! You just got a manicure! you don't want to break a nail! lol What color are they this time? Red? Pink? Yellow? Or maybe even…. Black? LOL Do they have pretty sparkles? Or do they glow in the dark? LOL XD**_

Loki knew what he was doing and he knew he was pissing him off, which he loved to do. He was thinking he was going to win this whole Facebook war and Pitch had enough of Loki's crap, he thought was going to lose this online war. To him, There was no way he was going to defeat Loki, Pitch thought if he lost, he would have to delete his Facebook account to avoid the humiliation. But then he remembered something happened to Loki two years ago that embarrassed him so much that he didn't want to talk about or mention it.

Apparently, Tony Starks told him at some party he got drunk at a few months ago. But fortunately, he wasn't that drunk. Pitch chuckled to himself mischievously, With this comment he was about the make, He didn't know what else how to defeat and humiliate his arch enemy.

Loki just sat there and crossed his arms and smirked in victory, "Looks like I one this little Facebook war-"

Then he got a notification. "What? Booger still won't give up?"

Pitch's Comment read:

_**You know what you scum?! Please do me a favor and SHUT THE HELL UP! Oh lol and While you're at it, Go get HULK SMASH'D! LMFAO! Remember that oh Lokster?! Oh I'm sure you do ;) **_

And with that comment, It was ALL OVER! Loki's jaw dropped and he could do nothing at the moment but sit there and stare at the whole comment. Everyone, including Jack Frost and Bunnymund saw it, their jaws also dropped at first, then they laughed their butts off at Pitch's biggest comeback comment, Even Pitch.

_**O_O Oh look at that, I have to, um, go, um, *SIGNS OFF* **_Loki literally signed off and ran into the bathroom staring into space, rocking back and forth in fetal position. "Please don't hurt me Hulk! I'm too handsome and amazing!" He said over and over again.

And with that last comment, Pitch has officially won the big Facebook war against Loki. For once in his life, He actually defeated an enemy of his. Feeling victorious, He wrote on his own status,

_**HAHAHA! VICTORY IS MINE! :D **_

Before he was about to sign off Facebook and tell his nightmares about what happened, He got another notification. "OH GREAT! Loki is coming back for more?!" He opened the notification and it turned out not to be Loki but it was some guy he didn't know, named Stewie Griffin. "Who the hell is Stewie?"

_**HEY! THAT'S MY LINE! HOW DARE YOU STEAL IT! **_

Pitch rolled his eyes and decided he didn't want to spend any more hours arguing and making new enemies, so he decided that was enough facebook for him…... for now.

**A/N:**__**LMFAO Poor Loki, He should of never started and instigated a Facebook war in the first place and MAYBE he wouldn't of locked himself in the bathroom for 3 straight days repeating himself over and over again lol But don't tell him I told you ok? LOL It's our little secret ;) Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed this story because this is the LAST chapter! Sorry guys but I hope you enjoyed this story while it lasted. Thank you all so much for reading! and Read my other fanfics if you like! Later wonderful readers! :D**


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